Jungle fever.Yellow fever.White fever?!

February 15, 2012 at 11:52 pm 21 comments

Place: Office.
Time: Saturday afternoon.

Stephen has just finished his shift. He was going into his locker, grab his back pack; go into the rest room, change out of his uniform, change into the stuff he brought from home, walk back by and go out into the world; to enjoy the rare sun that’s decided to grace us that afternoon. Stephen is the nice kid who always remembered to say your name with his “hi” and “bye”s. He has facial hair, an ear ring he wears after work and likes to take his shirt off on his way to the locker-room; exposing a hairy chest, and the promise of a six-pack ab. I was standing outside the uniform room, asking the uniform attendant if she was coming to whatwashername’s birthday on Thursday; so I could tag along. When Stephen passed by, ripping his shirt off and groaning from over-exhaustion, I kissed the tip of my fingers. Then I shook my head and added “em.em.em.em” to show just how appetizing I found him.

My actions, which were for my colleague’s benefit [who was Samoan, but looks more black than I, and much older, and has exhibited dating-related-bitterness on more than one occasion] weren’t lost on the woman. She knows me for a free spirit; a free spirit who is honest and says the darndest things when least expected, making her laugh, slap my back and call me ‘crazy’. So she neither rolled her eyes, as would a stern new-comer, nor make a dash for the “office manual” which clearly states attractions between colleagues should be kept for afterwork hours. She chuckled. Then she said, “You like white boys!”, pleasant like.

There was an accusative undertone to her words, which made me start, then protest “Not all of them!!”, and do a quick mental search for all the other cute guys from other nationalities I liked. I mentioned our Eritrean colleague, who was tall and handsome, and [between you and me] may be the male/african version of a blonde bimbo [crosses himself elaborately before eating, and pretends not to have noticed the attention he was drawing]. There was the red-pepper hot Tamale Hispanic guy who, I’ve observed more than once, looks like he’s dropped out of a Madonna music video. A Spanish lullaby from “La Isla Bonita”. And, ofcourse, Eyn; who was not only 10 years younger but Korean; whom I fall head-over hills for about 3 days after another colleague teased me of being “infatuated” with him when I observed what a fire-cracker he was [swearing in a way that made his 5'4" inches feel like a 6 foot 7].

But ofcourse the damage has been done. You don’t light a match underneath abesheet and expect her not to get burned. I was embarrassed. I was mortified. I wanted to kick myself in the bum. Did I, like she said, liked “white boys”?! Or did I prefer them to what’s out there?!

True: The four out of five men I have had a crush on for the last few months have all been white guys. There are atleast 80 Caucasian men for every 1 African American male I would rather date. And it’s easier for me to find some redeeming [facial] feature in a white guy than I can with either an African American or Hispanic man.

Were I a white-chaser? Or just a woman from an under-privileged background to whom the word “white” may represent “opportunity”. Weren’t I always tripping over Ethiopian men who remind me of my super-ex-boyfriend Samson “bariyaw”? Doesn’t my mind go almost-blank, in a way no Ryan-Gosling-look-alike could wipe it off reason, when I come across them rare brainy abesha men?! Don’t I still nurture a hope that “tedii” and I would someday end up together? [Yes I do, tedii. Bite me]

True. Being a Samson “bariyaw”-look-alike and brainy is only the beginning when it comes to my countrymen. They also gotta be not stunted. Too tall nor too skinny. Or from the country. They gotta also speak reasonably good English. Which should make sense: If they don’t speak English well, they can’t read the books. If they can’t read the books, all they can talk about is soccer and politics; the two subjects the sister abhors.

I didn’t like it! Didn’t like it one bit! It felt mercinary-ic. Self-hating. It felt the kind of mentality an abesha/abehseet, what with our 3,000 years of history and being the only country that’s never been colonized, should not have.

So I decided to try and dig deeper as to where this “preference” came from. Could it be due to the fact that when white men and women were introduced to us, Ethiopians, they weren’t introduced through colonization, the bible or even humanitarian deed. But through the “wondrous medium” of TV?! And because these were the chosen specimen of the race: actors and actresses whose beauty and ‘angelic’ quality surpassed understand?! Or is there another, underlying, reason? [The need to produce mixed-race kids, for example, so my child won't go through what I did ... by the dis-virtue of being the only kinky-haired/short-nosed/shaped-like-a-black-girl girl west of Qebena wonz]

Essu yiweQew!

All I can do, for now, is admit I have a problem and hope admittance is the first step to finding the cure. So here goes *gets up awkwardly*: My name is abesheet. I prefer meat to shiro. I hate all kinds of sports. And I like white boys.

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21 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Oromay  |  February 16, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    oh my! i loved this article. I really do!!!…I feel like I was the one who wrote it… like I was the one who get it off my chest…I see it as a searching question which begs my sincere soul searching…what an assignment :)

  • 2. andthree  |  February 16, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    hello abesheet! :smile:

  • 3. andthree  |  February 16, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    that was on behalf of 1/3 of our blog, who is mad about italian guys. and no, she is not lady gaga. :neutral:

  • 4. abesheet  |  February 16, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    Oromay:

    Glad my e-shoe proved to be your issue as well. Anitefafa ;-).

    Andthree:
    Oh I love Italian men too. Talk about jungle fever! Most are almost into “the backyard” , aka “the boot-ay”, than our AA brothers. They are also cuter. So good luck to her :-)

  • 5. Mitmita  |  February 16, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    Me three LOL.

  • 6. Scooby  |  February 17, 2012 at 5:30 pm

    Ay mebelashet ~_~

  • 7. mimi  |  February 17, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    love it.

  • 8. Chuchu  |  February 17, 2012 at 11:26 pm

    Save for your courage to put it on paper, i think this is what most ethiopians feel. We sympathize with our african american brothers and sisters. But not many of us would wanna be involved in a romantic realtionship with them. Not to mention how our family and friends would react back home. Bechal abesha, kalhone white. That’s how i feel. Cheers for being the first to admit it.

  • 9. andthree  |  February 18, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    it is like we won the battle with them italianos only to lose the war. i mean, what is a country without its people (and especially the womenfolk?) Reminds me of what Maurice from Madagascar said : They’ve come to kill us! And take our women! And our precious metals!

    And they build us dams by way of remuneration :sad: :smile:

    One thing though…

    There is no coming between italian men and their mothers, and football!

    Serves you right ladies! :grin:

  • 10. sistru  |  February 19, 2012 at 6:51 am

    Abesheet, who’s this ‘tedii’ that’s getting the biting invitations? Inquiring minds will pay to know.

  • 11. Danegus  |  February 19, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    I wasn’t aware liking people from other cultures was considered “taboo”. So glad you brought it up. I love my abesha girls, although Spanish women are more adventerious in bed. But when it comes to oral pleasure, i prefer asian women. itr Maybe their diet or the tea, but they are much sweeter down there ;-).

  • 12. abesheet  |  February 19, 2012 at 6:06 pm

    Actually, the italian man who courted me for a week and a half didn’t care much about football. He wasn’t from “the old country”, you see, except by way of liking them big, liking them plumpy. His mother was a Minister, and (I imagine) has died [disappointed; he had tatoos on every part of his body that could take ink and fancied himself "spiritual"] before I came. I remember how once I told him “don’t you love what the world has come to, we are making out here, our grand parents would have shot at one another”. (He didn’t have a clue about that either). But I think that is why I like and marvel over human sexuality. Whatever other engagements in life, some sort of acquaintance is needed. I mean.. you need the introduction, some common friends, some common purpose. When it comes to sex all you gotta do is throw a man and a woman into a room and let them “fight it out” :-). They don’t even have to speak the same language. Or.. speak, for that matter.

    Sistru:
    teddi (aka “teddi germany”, or even “ya keGerman yemidewlew lij”) is an old flame who has grown into a close friend after a ten year old roller-coaster ride of a friendship. (With yours truly being the one doing all the “anchiew tamechiew, annchiew tarochiew”). He is camera-shy, so wouldn’t comment as much as I want him to. But reads, and usually chuckles, at what I write.

    Danegus:
    Ok. Eww?

  • 13. andthree  |  February 20, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    it’s getting bawdy up in here :neutral:

    if i may ask, what happened after the one-and-a-half week period? i guess the police finally caught up with him. all those tattoos, one has got to wonder if the guy was affiliated with the mob.

    way to simplify sex!

    and i think i speak for a lot of ethiopian men when i say, we are as crazy about the derrière (copied it from the dictionary :smile: ) as the next guy who happens to hail from a boots-shaped country (boots, booty)

  • 14. abesheet  |  February 20, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    Lol @ boots/booty.

    No, am afraid Sal wasn’t involved with any crime family. And the tattoos were mostly Confusian wisdoms from back when he trained as a boxer; before somebody broke his skull in a bar fight, he lost all senses on the left side of his cheecks, and lay off the gloves. He was a pretty smart guy for an ex-boxer with all sorts of notions on astrology and parrallel universes. I don’t know which got involved when he saved my name as “Tommy”. (We were trying to find out what time he came, to calculate when to add money to the parking meter outside my building; and going through his phone, as he has to ring me before I buzz him in, when I observed him trying to frantically change a name attached to a number I recognized as mine. I listened patiently to him give a bogus story about a crazy ex-girlfriend who goes through his phone everytime she came around, etc. And when I was sure he’s vacated the premises, I rung him up and said “hasta la vista, jackass”. He didn’t speak spanish. But I have a feeling he got my meaning).

  • 15. Wello dessie  |  February 21, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    What’s wrong with wanting to talk about soccer?

  • 16. gizay  |  March 3, 2012 at 10:05 pm

    well, well, well… you’ve went on and done it, haven’tcha? lol… kinda read my thoughts…. anyways, i get it, i get it, i do!!! ayzosh, bechashin aydeleshim… following your footsteps i’ll say…”Hi, my name is gizay, i prefer shiro to meat, i like politics from a distance and oh ya, i love white men.”
    Here’s the thing… with Abesha men it’s “egzeyabeher hoy, plz let this one that’s coming my way be amercanized abesha… one i could talk too about the universe, organic foods, literature, jon stewart and snl… let him please at least have a penis that can work but not only work but last over 5 minutes… and please let him be the type that can talk about sex and not “know” it all and oh plz, let him not refer to me as nefse, libaye, hodaye, etc…”
    am i being unreasonable? maybe… am i generalizing? sure, sure…. but come onnnnnnnnn, i can wish. the thing is, i don’t even try, there is this automatic attraction to white men (regardless which country they’re from) compared to AA or even abesha and other African males. The truth is, there is no “berke” thing going on with the white guys… it’s just that they “seem” open minded, nicer, sweet and did i mention Open minded? Also, growing up and hearing “abesha, kalhone nech enji lela bete atamchi… especially tekur” or even just living here and having parents say “who’s your friend, tekur nat? wa beyalew… beyebotaw yeweldalu, drug yewesdalu, etc…” might have contributed to the “background story” or perception i have towards AA men/culture in general. Yet, i’m not stupid nor a child so i suppose it’s up to me to investigate if this indeed is true, isn’t it?
    I find it interesting though that it seems it’s not just our culture but most cultures that have the “marry within our indian, chinese, korean, egyptian, culture, etc… but if that doesn’t work out, white’s the way to go, OK!!!” I have friends from different cultures and they all seem to say the rules apply to them as well.
    BUT… what about looks? maybe us abesha’s that grew up watching “Acapulco” and saw tony and max at times and fantasized… I mean, tony looked beautiful, gorgeous, even delicious. Max looked like he could throw me to the ground and ravish me till i die… i usually don’t get that from abesha men. It’s all anticipating them to be “closed off” that kills any hope of fantasy. Maybe i’m generalizing and maybe it’s me that needs to work on giving people a chance… have a blank slate mentality… who knows. All I can say is, right now I’m “nech behon merte newe, kalhone abesha chgir yelewem, ching chong kehone degmo, esum yehun, hindu kehone, engide men yedereg, nigeryawi kehonem, yaw borsa medebek…” am I sad or what?

  • 17. Nunu Alem  |  March 4, 2012 at 4:16 am

    i like my man with good amount of color!

  • 18. Danegus  |  March 5, 2012 at 3:49 am

    Lol @ bawdy.

    You ladies have got so much to learn about habesha men it isn’t even funny.

  • 19. silver  |  March 18, 2012 at 5:30 am

    is this white lovers anonymous?lol In all seriousness though, i didn’t know abesha ladies are into white boys. Its good to know. The girl i dated a year ago used to say white boys don’t turn her on at all. may be because she is from chocolate city Atl

  • 20. Tazabi  |  April 10, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    Is there any abeshanet in this. Trying hard to be a ferenji ha!

  • 21. Unknown  |  May 13, 2013 at 1:06 pm

    I truly love your blog.. Very nice colors & theme. Did you create this web site yourself?
    Please reply back as I’m looking to create my own blog and want to find out where you got this from or just what the theme is named. Thanks!

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