You’ve heard it before. So have I! The saying: If you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask for it!
But I made the fatal mistake of asking for it, begging for it, over the weekend and have yet to ‘maGegem’ from the hard kick on the butt “the truth” (in the “chimBil” of a caring friend) gave me.
This is how it happened:
After twitching over it for about two weeks, losing sleep & an appetite, I finally decided to give my first novel-wanna-bee to my published friend. “Read it”, says I, “and tell me what you think. Ain’t thinking of having it published or anything yet, i just gotta get it out of my hand because the sight of it is driving me bonkers”. I said all this casual like! You know, in a very “devil-may-care” way. Only God and I knew how hard i’ve been working on it for the last 2 years. So hard, infact, my eyes can barley see a writing from across the room because of it. I! A patient an Orthodentist told only about a year ago that her sight was better than anybody he knows, even himself!!
Three days later, my friend was still on page 33. I demanded he return it! He madly did! But not before scratching all types of comments on the side. Comments that shocked the sister to the core at first (so much she needed to give another friend a call and get herself the biggest cheese burger on the menu to heal the wounded pride) but later made it clear that her published friend may not be as good a critique as reader, or atleast at perceiving women writer-wanna-bees and their intentions. Which, ofcourse, maybe wishful thinking on my side.
Yet, I’m more nervous to take my first novel-wanna-bee to the publishers than ever!! I feel if I submit it and it got rejected, no amount of “Tsadik sebate yewedqal, sebate yinesal” would bring comfort to the abesheet heart. No use counting how many times Abe Lincoln run for office and lost. Or googling and posting the story of the book that got rejected 15 times before being short-listed for a booker prize. I’ll resign myself to being a wife and a mother and start studying the ovulating calendar, instead of all the crap I’ve been studying for 5 years now in my pursuit to make a bit of difference, put a little bright light, to Ethiopian literature etcetra etcetra. Some of you may say, “not too shaby! Motherhood is, after all, a ‘tsega’ every woman should crave for!”. Problem is this sister ain’t one of those women. The day she decided to become a mother is the day she decided to give up on her dreams, and made up her mind to bury herself alive! Or so she fears.
And YES, she can be a drama queen! 🙂
So.. esti.. annd belugn!
Till then.. I’ll keep myself busy with trying to beat my little bro in Scrabbles.