Can quote me on that!
June 25, 2008 at 8:30 am 4 comments
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A friend of mine sent me two “quotable quotes” this morning. One from what actress Kristin Davis said, and the other from a “The Sopranos” script he found on Ethiopundit . blogspot . com used “to whip Meles Zenawi’s stand on the conflicted land issue around Gondar-Sudan region”. I liked one of them, I hated the other. Here below is my reply. Would appreciate your take on them!
Thank you for the “TiQsis”. Your Kristin Davis’ quote (“If I had one wish for myself, it would be to fall in love. That’s asking for trouble, but that’s the truth.”) sounds pretty shallow. Maybe because I find the concept of “falling in love” freaking funny. So does Chris. We used to laugh about it all the time: one of rolling on the bed saying “oh… oh.. I’ve fallen in love.. It’s all over me.. !” (in a very much Carrie-in-a-wedding-dress way) while the other chuckles delightedly. I know it’s silly. But so is the concept, were you to see it from where I saw it.
Here is how I believe “love” happens:
You see a person, you want them! That’s the reality. Everything else is sugar coating it and we’re both too old for that. If you started dating them, then you are maneuvering them to bed. If the sex is great, you wanna have more of it. And you’d pay whatever it takes to keep it. That’s what they call a “relationship”. While in this relationship, you get used to the person and his/her ways. Some good, Some bad. You develop a resistance to it, or you don’t. You either stay, or leave. When you stay and they aren’t around, you’ll miss them. Miss their corky ways that don’t look so bad when they are away. And you think you must be in love. The truth is: You are just used to them. And you need them. They been filling gaps in your life that needed feeling and, without them, you find yourself pretty see-through-ish as if with some yeTalyan gize “chichi”. Cold and lonely, that’s where they came from. And you find out that you guys were [have become] perfect for each other, inspite of all the imperfections you know you can live with and will perfect in this waltz we call “relationship” eventually. That’s where the expression “Gabichana chama midelaw siyarej new” came from. It’s your leg, your individuality/whatever you been walking through life with, that shrunk to fit the new shoe or got used to the discomfort. Nothing to do with the shoe!.So.. I ask you, where does the “falling” come in?
True, Kristin Davis ain’t exactly wishing it on me and a person can wish for whatever they see fit. But I won’t be running to list it under my “fav quotes” section any time soon. So, I guess you can say I haven’t found the Kristin Davis stuff so hot although she’s pretty neat herself. “A Shiksa goodess”, Harry Goldenblatt called her character on one of the “Sex and the City” episodes. Which indeed she is. Sticking to doing what you do best, that’s the bitch!.
Loved the Sopranos one (“Buy land AJ, cause God ain’t making any more of it”-Tony Soprano to his son). Can I use it for my post? Can I?
Entry filed under: Latest Posts. Tags: Falling in love, Myths about Relationships, Relationships.
My e-Shoe Box 
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Ras X | June 27, 2008 at 6:18 am
“men are from Mars, women are from Venus”
I often ponder the peculiar relationship man and woman have. Not just one aspect strikes me right away. What is the perfect woman? What is the perfect man?
The subject your talking about is the fairytale aspect. The sense of reality is lost from most of what is widely accepted. Is the man suppose to be some knight in shining armor? Is the woman suppose to be a helpless princess? We are who we are, and what if we are not the afore mentioned, are we shunned? We are knee deep in a totally new and different world. True, there are no flying cars, and there is no robots that due the menial tasks of our everyday life. Still, it’s a much different time, and a much different depiction of love is lacking in much of our stories. Where is the woman is doesn’t care what brand of cloth is on her body and carries her everyday care needs ( purse ), just that it is clean and presentable? Where is the guy who looks for ways to save money, and still is able to present his family as clean and presentable? Where is the understanding between the two that supports the other to make the world a better place. Well we need to understand what has happened in the time it took us to go from these fairytale relationship to utter discontent for the opposite sex. Sitting down and talking, the only way to solve our problems. Screw all the scams that are concocted to make money on our problems. That just makes them worse.
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KNIGHT | June 27, 2008 at 10:00 pm
…Okay first i want you to know how much i like you (Abesheet) cause i sat down and finished reading a blog that has a quote from Kristin Davis… it was tough but i did it…haha… Anyways, no matter how cheesy it might be or how we choose to define it, most of us have come across someone who we thought was just awesome…. Now you can call that love or you can call it whatever you want. But, at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter… what are we really asking here…? is it whether or not the phrase “falling in love” is a right description of the process…? or we questioning the whole idea of falling in love…? honestly, i don’t think anyone can ever tell you what the definition of falling in love is or how love happens… because it never really happens in the exact same way… the way you fell for your last girlfriend is somewhat or completely different from how you fell for your present girlfriend… I know most relationships develop in a rather similar manner, you meet a person, you get to know them… blah blah blah… you all know the song. but the effort you put to make a relationship work is different each and every time(at least i think it is)… so once again, who cares how you wish to call it… because loving someone was never really the hardest part… it’s making a relationship work that takes an effort… Men are from earth and women are also from earth so deal with it…
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abesheet | July 1, 2008 at 8:36 am
I see where you are coming from, Knight, and i agree — partly.
A rose may smell the same by any name. But if you decided to call a rose “Daffodil” for example [singular, my favorite name to a flower], and went out to get a “Daffodil” that smells rosy, you are sure to go through a bit of a pain before both your sense of smell & hearing can be made content.
When it comes to things of emotion, we gotta precisely call the “rose” by it’s name. Or we are leading younger, more naive, less experienced souls into confusion.
First time the sister had sex, for example, (not the breaking-and-entering part but the first time she “made love” to somebody she loved [or he to her, an ex-boyfriend, almost 9 years ago]), she cried all night long because it wasn’t what she expected it to be! She was expecting it to be the way it was in movies and books. The way everybody said it would happen when you know it’s the one. (A bit that may have contributed to the final breaking up of the relationship and him ending up not being it after all.)
Now, if somebody had made sure the sister knew what to expect of first time sex, all the awkwardness and the need to please making it hard to actually enjoy the act, and how it usually falls short of the ideal (atleast for the female copulating party), she’d have been spared so much confusion and tears. I know a friend who broke up with a good man who loved her, and one she was extremely attracted to {rare for her} because she wasn’t feeling the “za za zsu”. She thought it must mean he wasn’t the “right one” (another stupid name ppl gave an unfortunate rose whose thorny stem people hoped to avoid by mere technicality, if that is indeed what i’m trying to get at ;)). Guess what, though?! 6 years later, she married and bore a child to a guy she cried would rather burn in hell than spend a day with when she first met him (a disgusting-looking piece of twit we are all embarrassed to see her with).
And what do we learn from these examples? If everything emotional was called by it’s name: that “love” is only the first step, that relationship is an uphill work, that you don’t get a mind-blowing sex every night with the one you love, that the first few months are the scariest season of your married life, that kids take it out of you and having God by your side doesn’t mean having all the answers…..imagine how many people would be spared of needless pains. And how easier life would have been, for knowing is winning half the battle.
Or so this cynic [or “realistic”, it all depends on how you see it ;)] sister thinks 😉 .
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KNIGHT | July 2, 2008 at 11:49 pm
… I hear you laud Abesheet( i keep wanting to say Totit) Anways, okay i understand what your trying to say or do. you are making the point that love and relationships are never as glamorous as the ones you see on TV…. And it’s totally true, they are not. for the most part at least… But if we are accusing the ” media” for portraying Love and realtionships in a certain way that is not in tune with the actual reality… Then, does this mean those of us who were fortunate enough to fall in love have earned the right to educate people about “LOVE”… but doesn’t this make us a hypocrite…?( I am not calling you out Absheet)… I just believe, different people have different takes about love and relationships… it’s always good to seek people’s advice when you are confused about matters of the opposite sex( dang, now i feel like Dr. Phil… hate that guy)… But at the end, you are gonna have to reach deep into yourself and find answers… i believe love is all about taking chances. when you meet someone worth keeping, you take a chance by taking them in. then, you will do everything you can to make sure they stick around… sometimes it works out and a lot of times it doesn’t. that’s life and you learn to deal with it… you can’t expect to learn about Love and relationships without actually being in one… the old trial and error method still works…