Courage, child, courage!

November 18, 2008 at 7:28 am 13 comments

Finally did it! I sat down at my laptop and typed away. The first evening I wrote 7 pages. The second 20. Just like that! Still, writing on a laptop and on wordpress refreshing the page and hitting the “save” button every other minute didn’t feel the same. While writing in wordpress, I knew there was a distant, kind of, sort of, not really possibility of being read. On my laptop, there was none. Atleast for another two days and a night!

That put a dumper to my feelings of finally breaking the ice. Waiting for feelings to come back, experiences remembered, new truths realized felt ridiculous. But only for a moment! “No regrets, no surrender”. I kept typing on.

At around 4:01 a.m., almost three hours later, I heard hesitant footsteps underneath my window. (I live on the first floor, footsteps has a tendency of echoing in the dark). I run to it, eager to see another human being up and about at such an hour (been more than 4 hours since I heard a man, a dog or a car pass by). The guy was trying to stand steadily on his feet and looking up. The strange light must have made him stop and wonder. “Anchi?!“, he said in a tone that both wondered and accused, “Ategnim ende?!”. (aren’t you going to sleep?)

I laughed. He laughed. I closed the window, drew the curtains, and went back to my laptop. Wondering what I was trying to get out of all this. Then I remembered, perhaps nothing. Perhaps everything! It was too late, or too early, to remember.

Now, sitted infront of my PC, waiting for the page to publish, I know.

“Sister Act II” was a lowly imitation of “Sister Act I”, as is the reality with all sequels (except “The Dark Knight”, which defied all expectations, I’d like to think). But it has one line I keep remembering every time my heart is faint and feel like giving up (such a rotten feeling, knowing you are the only one who gives a shit!). It’s a scene between Whoopie Goldberg’s character and of that gorgeous golden-voiced singer, Laureyn Hill’s. “I read somewhere,” I think Whoopie’s character says “if, when you wake up first thing in the morning ‘writing’ is what comes to your mind, then you are meant to be a writer”.

Does it mean that’s what I’m called for? Writing?! Seeing I’d be staring at the screen trying to put thoughts into words, and then into a language that is foreign to my senses, when the sun dawns?! Is that why I’m still typing away, without even pausing to edit; laboring (albeit a labor of love) over something that will perhaps never be felt by anybody else and is unlikely to see the light of day?

My friends, you bow to no one!

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There is Date, there is Expiry Date Alright :)

13 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Mazzi  |  November 18, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    Berchi Abesheet about the writing business, and enjoy the ride!

    I bet you would miss your outlet if you are not able to write, with or without the hope of being widely read. So there must be a writer in you!

    Love the story of the man outside your window, also up at 4:00am in the morning, wondering what you were doing up that late! (What was HE doing himself at that hour?!) I bet he would not have guessed you were up writing on your laptop.

    On this side of the universe, being up that late (or that early) may not seem that odd in this 24 hour culture, but it must have felt weird in Addis where any time past 10:00pm is considered really late! At least it was when I was growing up. I imagine with clubs and bars being open very late now a days, it may no longer be a big deal to be out that late.

    I wish you success in all your writing adventures.

  • 2. abesheet  |  November 19, 2008 at 5:28 am

    Thank you Mazziye, thank you very much. That post was actually supposed to make the other National Novel Writing Month participants know that i wasn’t laxing, and to keep the chin up (as they say). We are supposed to create a file, tag it nanowrimo08 so they could find it when surfing and we could encourage one another, etcetra.

    Yeah, that guy was funny. I was afraid he’d keep on talking after i shut the window and drew the shutters, but he just went on his way. You can’t believe where he was heading. There is this “qutquat” behind our building where, you know, the village throws garbage and takes dump, that’s where he was heading. “KeQoshe Mado”, so to say. But I guess you make your own fortune.

  • 3. Totit  |  November 20, 2008 at 1:31 am

    I read’em all 32 pages….and then 33 and then 34 and 35 ….am waiting for page 36-100 and more…:)
    I wanna know what Yemi is up to…:)
    I had to finish up a paper…and guess what, I was taking a break…I started and could not stop…yesterday…i stayed until 4 am my time reading u…and then the paper had to be finished…hummm…

  • 4. abesheet  |  November 20, 2008 at 5:39 am

    No way, really? *embarassed laugh* Wow! I’m definitely going to think about what i’m writing next. Or maybe just write offline and publish it. I was supposed to write a few more yesterday. Got stuck. Thanks anyway, totiye. And PLEASE finish your paper first, it ain’t going anywhere.

  • 5. Totit  |  November 25, 2008 at 5:04 am

    Hey Abesheet…Hoping all is well with u…I see u have not posted for a few days now…Isnt the writting to be over in few days…I know u can do it…courage…eshiii…good luck

  • 6. abesheet  |  November 25, 2008 at 5:46 am

    Thank you, totiye, for keeping an eye on me. I haven’t been to the office on Friday and Monday, that’s why i couldn’t make any posts. But i’ve finished the novel, 50,000 words woo hoo!!, which has the most embarassing errors and bad expressions (oh my God! I never thought amharic would be so difficult to translate into english) i’ve come across. I’ll fill in the blanks and post it later. Enjoy! πŸ™‚

  • 7. Totit  |  November 25, 2008 at 5:50 am

    Great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 8. Totit  |  November 25, 2008 at 7:07 am

    Endeee Abesheet …is there a part II?

  • 9. abesheet  |  November 25, 2008 at 7:30 am

    Afraid not, why Totiye? *bracing self*

  • 10. Totit  |  November 25, 2008 at 10:03 pm

    Hey Abesheet….the plot , the story is great…I was just not ready for the end I guess…:) Maybe the incorigible romantic in me was not ready to let go ….I dont know…But realllllyyyy I enjoyed every page of it…

  • 11. abesheet  |  November 26, 2008 at 8:11 am

    To be perfectly honest with you, Totiye, I didn’t even think the story has a plot. But i’m glad somebody thought so πŸ™‚ . By the time i finished it (ohhhhhhh the errors!!!) I asked myself “what am i trying to say here”. The answer was.. God knows! It feels like a coming of age story, but Yetnayet has always been a smart ass, and she’s 38 forChristsake, also not very ‘yegeter lij’ like. I also think i got too busy trying to show what a single girl’s life is, and putting as much of what i remembered from my youth in it, that i ignored the main ingredient of a story: the theme. Not to mention how weird and superficial the title sounds when ‘shit happens’ or ‘Getting over Wasse’ would have done it’s purpose well. Still, I would like to think it wasn’t such a bad effort, considering i kept on writing in the gaps i found at work and this was the first time i tried to put my ‘western ideals’ into amharic and then back to english.

  • 12. Totit  |  November 27, 2008 at 6:29 pm

    Well Abesheet…Let me ask u a question first…Do u wanna discuss ur short novel? I dont want to be unconsiderate and stomp on ur hard work uninvited…and why did u remove the link…

  • 13. abesheet  |  November 28, 2008 at 6:20 am

    Well.. Totitye.. i’ll cut you a deal. I’ll edit it, because that’s actually the hard part, editing it, and then you’d tell me what you think. Coz i can really do better when given time. Way better! Say, this time next week?!

    Regarding the link, I didn’t really remove it. Leaving it out there felt like ‘showing off’, and putting pressure on people to read or atleast compliment. Now, i’ve made a link to it on the post entitled, Alright (that’s why i wanted to create the post, that and to show i was ready to get back to blogging; nothing important has occured, is all πŸ™‚ ). Click on “The Space Between” and it would take you there.

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