Can i trust my “Bogus” experience?
January 5, 2009 at 9:51 am 3 comments
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I’m not the most sentimental person. I hate surprises, get more embarrassed than touched by ridiculous exhibitions of emotion and have started seeing Kahlil Gibran’s writings as being a tad gayer than anything Abu Nuwas can come up with. Yesterday afternoon, though, I was got. I saw a child giving his mother a hug and I literally wept. By the time I was done weeping, luckily, unnoticed (babi was watching “An American Carol”, a movie that feels like a personal attack on Michael Moore instead of what Moore stood for, and Blen was out and about with her girlfriends) I decided that must be what people see in kids.
Thus far, the conscious or sub-conscious need for pro-creation has remained a strictly masculine affair to me. Ever since I saw a colleague of mine walk around in a dazed and embarrassed fascination after visiting his new-born son at the hospital (from a girlfriend he was avoiding ever since she told him his sperm has fertilized her egg), I have realized there was more to children to guys than “their little fellers doing their job”. I’ve noticed nature or testosterone maybe involved. That it was something which can neither be helped nor explained. (So you won’t see me neither surprised nor shaking the head with those saying “ayy wond, dirom wond ya’amene..” when my mother talks about that ‘barren’ colleague of hers who fainted at the sight of ‘Abaaye’-screaming kids on her loving and ‘faithful’ husband’s funeral).
Women, I’ve felt, who want kids want them for the same reason they want to get married (or as part and parcel of it): Out of ignorance, self esteem problem or the need for validation; pressure, boredom or fear [“I’ll regret it later”.. “he will leave me if don’t”]. There is more to having kids than putting a “tseGur g’eyit” on a daughter’s neatly tied ponytail, I’ve argued, or making “a little gentleman” out of your son by putting butterfly “keRebaat” on his neck. There is: nine months of carrying a heavy load that weighs you physically and emotionally down, your chemicals going crazy, morning sickness and loss of appetite, stretch marks and giving birth; breast feeding, washing, dressing, and taking constant care of and sacrificing everything you have for a self-centered creature who won’t think twice before violently jerking you out of a much needed sleep by screaming the roof down. Not to mention everything that can go wrong before and after!.
“And for what?!”, I’ve asked self-righteously, with none of the responses proving satisfying.
Yesterday, however, when a kid’s affectionate embrace (the way he looked at his mother with his hand on her shoulder while she’s instructing what he is and not to do when she’s at work, when he runs after her car talking talking talking and proudly reads her a poem which she has to put off work to listen) on the movie Bogus squeezed tears out of the abesheet soul, I thought I saw a silver lining to the gloomy affair of child-bearing and rearing. That perhaps there were moments in the mother/child relationship that made all the suffering worthwhile, atleast bearable. And there may be a mother in me after all.
Is that the correct diagnosis? Or is Haley Joel Osment (The Sixth Sense) simply a really good child-actor?
Entry filed under: Latest Posts. Tags: Mother/Child relationship, Motherhood, Parental experience, Paternity.
1.
ankami | January 5, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Than you for your lovely Facebook message about our photos in flickr.
Chao
2.
Mazzi | January 6, 2009 at 5:21 am
“Can i trust my ‘Bogus’ experience?”
…I say yes :-). At least give the thought a sincere and attentive audience, and see how it feels :-). I am sure it might at least make one ‘silent blog reader’ man across the ocean happy.
We never know from where and in what form our inspiration to do anything comes from! Maybe yours is in “Bogus,” but what’s in a name anyways?
3.
abesheet | January 6, 2009 at 5:37 am
Lol, Mazzi. Actually, I wrote a ‘p.s.’ to the “Silent blog reader” the minute i was done writing the post (“if your name is so and so, this post isn’t meant for you” 😉 ). But i deleted it. Thanks for remembering.
You are welcome, Ankami. The only comment i have on the photos tagged Flikr Ethiopia is.. there seems to be lots of repetitions, like the ones you see here ————->
If that could be fixed, they are an awesome collection. Melkam YeGena BeAl to you and yours.