A girl’s best accessory

January 29, 2009 at 1:24 pm 4 comments

Me and a friend were mucking around (as one Aussie would say to another) with the idea of “self-sufficiency”, or “rassin mechal”.

The word is one of those words that bring something particular to mind for most. Just the way “getting-away-with-murder” brings O.J. Simpson, the noun “adoption” the rainbow family, and the statement “I am not a crook” President Richard Milhous Nixon. The term “self-sufficiency” or the lack therein, brings a country that begs for her daily bread. It, my friends, brings Ethiopia!

Ethiopia is not a self-sufficient country. By which, according to wikipedia, is meant she [she is a she] “requires an outside aid, support, or interaction, for survival”. Why isn’t Ethiopia self-sufficient? Many a reason is given. Reasons that are approved or vetoed depending on the parties involved and their particular agenda. They all agree on one point though. That lack of self-sufficienc–y is a cycle. That’s it’s rooted in the [unproductive] past. That it ruins a would-have-been-bright-otherwise now.

The “self-sufficiency” me and the friend were referring to was, ofcourse, human self-insufficiencies -the emotional kind. To the people who try to compensate [substitute, stand in the place of, replace something] they feel they lacked with something unrelated to it. The relative, as I said earlier, who won’t feel “man enough” unless feeling superior to everybody around. The colleague to whom the sun doesn’t come out unless complimented on her looks. The classmate who stop to say hi everybody she comes across, or calls back every missed call, to show what an “ajeb” she has. Emotionally dependent people who can’t even travel a 65-cents taxi journey without rubbing thighs with you.

I used to be one of these people. I needed the love (or atleast a phone call) of a man to feel/show and prove I was lovable. The reverent gleam in my listener’s eyes to feel smart. Someone to spend an evening with, a good book or a movie to sufficiently numb me to the fact that I can’t get dates anymore.

How about now, you’d naturally ask. Does my usage of the word “used to” mean I’m completely healed (if I need to, that is)? No! I still feel down when I don’t see a comment when I open my blog in the morning. My steps are extra bouncy when I see a guy checking my booty out. Have yet to get used to sitting content in an empty room where the lights are out. But do I stop opening my blog, take a contract-taxi instead, beg my available-as-long-as-you-are-paying friends to keep me company and suffer the agony of listening to their mindless conversations?! No! The only thing I’m entirely dependent (self-insuffiicient in, if you like) on these days is my hand bag. Can’t go anywhere without it. If I’m bag-less and the setting isn’t a residence, I feel as good as naked. As if something major is missing from my person. As if I, abesheet/habesheet/abeet, am incomplete.

All for want of a bag!

Now I’m not saying a bag (in need) isn’t capable of doing damage. For want of a nail, here this poem tells us, a battle was lost! But it’s just an accessory, an ornament, a supplement. Something to compliment what I had on. [Instead of what I am]. It’s neither an extension of me or anything mine. Failing to define as well as incomplete me.

And when one day I grasp that fully, I’d master the courage/the maturity/the independence to walk out, bag-less, and say to the world “… Eye is free!” – Aster Aweke like :).

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Entry filed under: Latest Posts.

Artist Alazar Samuel For all Ethys in DC area

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Totit  |  January 29, 2009 at 7:24 pm

    Hey Abesheet,
    I run into this today on my FB, and thought I will let u know…
    http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=73414028760
    I know u have been looking for any news…I hope this can give u a chance to get back in touch with him somehow…

  • 2. alem  |  January 29, 2009 at 10:31 pm

    Abesheet I wonder if it is possible to be self sufficient emotionally? It’s in all of us humans to feel needed and loved. I feel nervous if I find out someone’s checking me out I am never comfortable with compliments either. It sounds strange I know but I never learnt how to handle it …
    BTW I am all for the bag-less idea . My discomfort is with having to carry them because you are a woman. I compensate for my frustration on weekends by going bag-less ende libe ejen eyawozawezku:)

  • 3. sistu  |  January 30, 2009 at 6:09 am

    Abesheet, she so is a she. maybe abat agerachen binilat yalfilat yihonal, who knows. Would probably stop looking as cute though…not that she has been looking particularly smashing ever since Eriteria moved on.. kinda messed with her girma moges. And, if we were to not remember Ethiopia at the sight of the word ‘self-sufficiency’, ETV news leefareden yichilal after all those years of kurrrrrrr-ing those phrases into our ears.

    On the emotional front, though, as Cadrew might say, ain’t nothing more becoming on a human than possessing bemigib aqiribot raswan yechalech ager yemiasmesil libe-mulunet and, meches aykerim, man-alebigninet. I prefer my humans to come as rasachewin yechalu species…although i tend to excuse myself from that sort of chekwagn requirement. The thing about self-sufficiency, i think, is that it allows ppl to eventually share their good fortunes with others and become an amrach, laki, akrabi of quality attributes to those around them. So I figure having rasachewin yechalu ones around me lenem yiterfal. However, i would imagine that sort of keTigegnite terta riko menor probably takes a whole lot of akim ginbata or so says minster detaw (?). So, as your wonderful, fikir yehonech, indew-min-lihunilat friend would say, begeezey bezerfu mesemarat aykefam so as to madaber the required [by me?] emotional self-sufficiency.

    alem — i so very much feel you on the compliment issue. by default, i consider nearly all compliments unnecessary at best and lies [not nearly at worst]. i tend to think whatever you are getting compliments for, you probably already know it. and if there was something i felt good about, getting a compliment for it would make me revise my feeling completely. sadly i, too, give compliments.

  • 4. abesheet  |  January 30, 2009 at 6:27 am

    You are welcome, alem. Happy to oblige. It’s funny how Alazar doesn’t seem to have changed one bit though. Especially his voice. It’s exactly the way i remember him.

    Totiye:
    That was the most distrubing news I’ve had in months. I doubt I’d get over the shock for weeks to come. But I’ve written Hiwot demanding for an explanation as to why Lemenih’s family weren’t contacted first and in what state he is in. Eternally grateful to you for the link darling.

    Sistu:
    Lol about the head-less “YeEthiopia carta”. Things start making sense, don’t they 😉 ? Speaking of Eritrea, ERTA seems to be particularly chummy with that country lately. By “masreGing” eritrean songs into it’s “East African Yemuziqa zigijit” as if it’s just another neighbour. I know when a government is trying to sell us something [unwholesome] and when a government isn’t. It is nowadays. Haven’t figured out what yet but I know the answer already. No.thank.you.

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