To: Mazzi, sistu, Inem, others..

Dear SELEDA Friend;

Uh, oh.

Okay, that’s no way to start an email.

IndEt alulinnnn–n? Lijochu, kebtochu, mistochu, balochu…. T’ru… T’ru… shega.

So you probably thought we had finally located our dignity and scuttled to Land O’ CHewinet and respectability. Yes? You misunderestimate us. We’ve been busy living off our Ponzi Scheme—selling SELEDA stock and figuring out the best time to tell our investors that, um, there is no such thing as SELEDA stock, hahaha. But it turns out it was all illegal or some such. Goddamn Commies!

So, as we watch our 401Ks resemble ET politics- one ginormous pile of sketchy, dubious worthless absurdity—we thought, why are we suffering in silence? Why not spread the misery? Now, THAT we are good at.

So, we’ve decided to come back for one last issue—a “goodbye-thank you-the money is on the night stand” issue. It dawned on us that we never said a proper goodbye. The asadagi yebedelew in us is telling us, “Damn straight. It’s how we roll.” But then—this ikek that is ye ItyoPiyawi CHewinet is murmuring sweet nothings about closure. Goddamn Commies!

What do we have to lose? We wanted to put out a plea to our best writers for one last roll in the hay. We hope we can depend on you to dust off your shul b’er and pen one last missive for out “Intin Issue.” Yep. You read that right. The Intin Issue. You basically decide what’s Intin… and then write about it.

Deadline… yes, there is one because our webmaster has to re-enter anger management class on May 1. So, April 30. Plenty of time.

Hoping we hear from you even if it is to say, “InnantE hafrete bisoch….”

SELEDA Editors
seleda1@yahoo.com