I, the hypocrite

Speaking of truth being crucified, who watched American Idol last night? I did, because the news anchor woman on SanDiego6 was going frantic with worry over who will take the prize (Lambert, apparently, hails from “America’s Finest City”).

“I know this guy”, I said to myself when the man behind the frenzy appeared on the screen, “it’s the tranny all those school girls were going crazy over the other day. Why not watch it and see what happens?”. So I lingered around way after “The Simpsons” was over. Needless to say, I was rooting for the other guy. The clean shaved, Freddie Prinze Jr.-look alike Alen who appears even shorter next to his fellow finalist. What’s more, i can clearly see how the heavily-made up Lambert made it so far (and why those annoying little girls were screaming their guts out for him). He was good! He has a presence! Some body! Some voice. If after seeing him on the street, you don’t turn to look at him again and aren’t haunted by his looks, then you are one of those fatherly figures who don’t see where you are going [my dad never did]. So i rooted for the dim figure beside him. I am Ethiopian [after all], I feel gays could be “straightened” out with a simple wag of the finger. I also have a soft spot for a lost cause, and a soccer team whose players run mechanically around only out of pride.

Near the end, ofcourse, my heart was torn between the two. I wanted the best man to win. But I didn’t want the winner to come with ‘tiFFir Qelem”. So i tried to sooth the rotten feeling with a typical “Brokeback Mountain” argument. I told myself this just wasn’t the time to make a homo/bi/transsexual guy an “Idol”. Remember your new best friends, I asked me. The Republicans?! And their conservative friends? They won’t take this lying down. No sir they won’t! And that would be one more can of worms this government can’t afford to open. “He’d understand”, i concluded, “coming this far is a victory by itself for someone like him”. “He chose to be gay, that’s what sealed his fate”. “All of us pay for our choices, after all”. “Etc”.

Alas, none of it made me feel any better.

Would it have been easier if i weren’t born with a consciousness? Or that i, like many around me, didn’t live by double standards?!

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