Three for the road, and then some

For my [በጣም ለምወዳችሁ፣ ለማከብራችሁ] Ethiopian readers, and all those who, through the years, asked what my real name was, why I was refusing to post my photo, and where one can get copies of my “books” per chance one was unable to shop on Amazon, this link can be considered my “አመሰግናለሁ”/ “‘ዛር ይስጥልኝ”፣ “‘ዛር ያክብርልኝ”/ “መልካም የገና በዓል” gift to you.

If you are, on the other hand, one of the many who never gave a shit/stopped giving a shit long time ago and/or are the fucking cunts who stopped talking to me after I asked them for an advice as to how to bring my sister into this country [the way their sisters/brothers/wealthy uncles did for them]; consider this a richly deserved middle finger for the fucking waste of a friend you turned out to be. (I am dying, so I get to be a jerk).

If you have time to spare, listen to my favorite version of “Silent Night” as recorded by “Simon and Garfunkel” [you might want to turn the volume of your laptop up to get the whole meaning]. I also like the following songs for various reasons: “I want a hippopotamus for Christmas” by Gayla Peevey because it is innocent and dumb; “Gonna Lasso Santa Claus” by Brenda Lee because it is cute; “Dominick the Donkey” By Lou Monte because I like all things Italian :); “Feliz Navidad” by José Feliciano because it reminds me of those warm showery evenings in downtown Escondido which Chris used to walk me through on the way home back when he still enjoyed being my husband; “The Nightmare before Christmas”, as covered by Fall Out Boy, because the lead-singer sounds super hot; and “Mary’s Boy Child” by Boney M. which never ceases to make me cry every time it came up on Troy’s iPod [because God, as personified by Jesus, was the only one who loved me when I was a fat/ugly/miserable wretch of a teenager; and because I do not feel let down by him, despite a breast cancer diagnosis at what could be seen as the prime of my life].

Honorable mentions shall go to: the hilarious Bob Rivers’ “Twisted Christmas” collection, the smart and sassy “The 12 Days of Christmas” album by the Cappella group “Straight No Chaser”; Jim Carrey’s version of the movie “How the Grinch stole Chrsitmas”, the timeless classic “A Christmas story”, and “The man who came to dinner” which is a black and white comedy made in 1942 and actually has a line “For New Year’s Eve broadcast, we’ll have as guests…Jascha Heifetz, Helen Hayes, Schiaparelli, the Lunts, Dr. Alexis Carrel, with Haile Selassie on shortwave from Addis Ababa.”].

Enjoy.